There have been a number of things rattling around in my head the past week or so. Degrees of success in the ceramics field; measuring your accomplishments against others; the disappointment of rejection; art as entertainment; the quiet spaces in life needed for creative thought...they have all taken their turn occupying my thoughts.
Unfortunately as I have been busy filling out applications for various shows and employment opportunities, the first few on that list have been in the forefront. You send off a list of your credentials, your accomplishments, and pictures of your work hoping the recipient sees the value in them. Then you wait. And that is the hardest part. Sure the rejection and subsequent disappointment are, well, disappointing, but I have dealt with rejection before. The waiting though... Life goes on in the interim, but you are still in a weird sort of limbo, not being able to really plan what you are going to be doing in the coming months and constantly wondering what will happen. Do I go ahead and sign up for that craft fair this fall, or will I be in Utah by then? Build a kiln, or will I just have to tear it down and move without ever getting to fire it? The fucking waiting...
With the number of applications I have been putting out there, there will obviously be rejections, lots of them. But if you could at least reject me in a timely manner, that would be appreciated. That way I can start working on the next step, whatever direction that step might take me.
In the mean time, I will make a few pots, try to sell a few more, and write. I am currently working on something about silence. Hopefully it will be done before it is time to post on here again.